Anne

Warming Up

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Very sad to hear of the death of Somerset legend, Anne Higgs. A life filled with music, apart from the time she was teaching me the trumpet. Generations of kids and musicians will know her. Amazing woman.

I last saw her in 2023 and she got a couple of mentions in the blog before, here and here because she was a big part of my school days, even though she can hardly have had a more reluctant and untalented pupil.

She used to travel between schools on her motorbike, which was both cool and faintly comic and was a little bit like Jessica Gunning in Outlaws (though much cleverer). I always had half an idea to write a sitcom about her (though I think Gunning might be too big a star to be in it now). I didn't know enough about Anne to make it true to life, but that's what appealed to me about her. She was a music nerd and dedicated her life to her pupils and musicians, but I wondered what her life away from that was like. She was so ebullient in public, but was she the same in private? I have no idea, of course.

I am really cut up about losing her. She was one of those understated community heroes who devoted her life to others, choosing to use her undeniable talent to help others succeed (or in my case fail quite badly, though she did manage to get me to a merit at Grade V trumpet which shows how good she was).

If you’re clicking for higher resolution then you are a pervert

And another West Country legend dominated my day, as the auction for Gus Honeybun came and went. I thought it would be great to get Gus on Twitch of Fun to replace or compete with Birthday Donkey (who is of course a rip off of Gus), but Chris Evans and I decided that £1000 + VAT + commission was as far as that joke could go. I suspected that Gus would go for over £3000 and I was correct. The hammer went down at £3100 (so nearer to £5000 with everything added on) and we were out.

So I would never get to put my hand (or anything else) in Gus' gaping cloaca. I am guessing the person willing to pay five grand for him has plans beyond most human imaginings.

As I walked the kids to school I passed a gate that we walk past every school day. There was now a sign tied to the rails saying "Please do not put a cone in front of this gate at any time". Which really makes you wonder what has been happening here. What is the story? You might say it's a simple story. Someone put a cone in front of the gate. But I don't think that goes anywhere near explaining what has happened.

For the sake of brevity (this is really not going to be brief) let's assume we're talking about a traffic cone here. As much as it would be amusing to put ice cream cones or geometric cones all over the pavement.

I have never noticed cones in front of this gate or indeed anywhere near it and I can't imagine the circumstances in which a cone might be placed in front of the gate. Surely only if a worker was digging a hole right outside, which would necessitate some coneage.

For someone to make a sign, laminate it and put it on the gate with cable ties certainly implies that the placing of cones in front of the gate (at least in the imagination of the person who put the sign there) is a persistent problem. One worthy of a warning. And it's cone singular as well (a pedant like me is tempted to put two cones in front of the gate and still follow its instructions) which again doesn't sound like it's anything to do with workmen. Someone is putting a single cone in front of the gate, often enough to make this person crack and add a warning sign. The additional "at any time" also suggests to me that the person putting the sign up may have given some kind of verbal warning. I believe the gate leads to a school, so maybe the person putting the cone out was caught in the act and asked politely not to put a cone there as it stopped kids and parents accessing the school. And the cone placer thought that that meant it would be OK to put the cone there after 3.30pm and before 8am. That was not satisfactory for the sign-writer who wanted no cones there at any time. So had to include that in the notice.

Nothing else is forbidden though. Maybe some police tape could be put there or a bollard or a JCB or anything that isn't a cone. It's the flush down the toilet problem all over again. It doesn't say you can't put another sign in front of the gate which says "Please put a cone in front of this gate at any time". Which is what I might do.

Why is someone persistently placing single cones in front of this gate and why has it driven this person mad enough to put up this very specific sign?

It's just another Hitchin mystery. This place is deeply weird when you even start to look beneath its cosy exterior. If you know what has been going on at this gate and who is putting the cones there and who it is annoying enough to get the laminator out then... actually don't tell me. The mystery is surely better than the truth.

How can it be?