Buckaroo

Warming Up

8523/21442

The kids were with their grandparents so Catie and I had a daytime date: going to the gym, Wagamamas and then Cineworld to watch Project Hail Mary.

The most convenient time for us was a 4DX screening, where your seats move and you get sprayed by water. We’ve done this a couple of times, most notably and inappropriately when we went to see 1917. I am not sure World War One should be turned into a rollercoaster ride.

It had never seemed too extreme before, but in the trailers (for Star Wars and Super Mario) the seats went pretty berserk and I wondered if we’d made a big mistake. Usually I go to the cinema to sleep, but there was no chance if we were going to be thrown around like this.

As it turned out the seats acted a lot more gently for most of Hail Mary and we settled into it.

Even though it was the school holidays the cinema was pretty empty, with maybe four other people dotted around the cinema and three boys of about 12 years old in the row in front of us. They were very chatty during the trailers, but I hoped they’d calm down for the film. Or just go and sit in one of the many places in the room where there were no other people.

I didn’t know too much about the movie beforehand, but I enjoyed it. The boys did mess around a lot and didn’t really seem to be watching the film and were showing each other stuff on their phone. I wanted to tell them to keep their bloody, shitty mouths closed (as a Frenchman one did in the middle of the night when me and my 16 year old friends were camping in Weymouth- it’s all right I was also 16).

But I remembered all the cinema trips of my youth where I had been over excited and messing about with my mates and it didn’t feel right to pass on the generational trauma of being threatened by an adult in the dark. Also nowadays all the kids have knives.

Catie told them to be quiet at one point and they then shut up for about ten minutes. It didn’t ruin the film too much. If you’re going to be in a cinema where the chairs are shooting liquids at you and trying to buck you out on to the floor, you can’t complain about kids.

What was sad really is that the place was so empty on a school holiday afternoon (I mean not sad for me, as if there had been more kids it would have been unbearable and also they could have ganged up on me).

Anyway, nice bit of sci-fi fun. The film was long and kept on looking like it was ending, but then having a new bit and it’s hard to believe that Ryan Gosling didn’t have a partner or any friends to speak of on Earth, but at least he made friends with a little alien made of stones (which is my own dream come true). It was a bit different than the usual Hollywood fayre, which has become quite boring to me of late, where even being jolted in your seat can’t keep you awake.

If only we hadn’t had kids we could do this kind of stuff all the time. But then, like when we actually could, we wouldn’t appreciate it.

Newsround - though will be mostly familiar to anyone who read yesterday’s blog (but don’t miss the Icarus song)

Very excited that my guests for the next live RHLSTP on 20th April at the Leicester Square Theatre are Operation Mincemeat genius Natasha Hodgson and brilliant US stand up Michelle Wolf. One of the best line-ups we’ve had. Still a few £18.50 tickets