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Two nice ladies came round early this morning to get to grips with my dirty old annexe. I had to pay them a lot of money to do it, but my wife didn't mind. As long as she didn't have to touch it, she's happy.
My annexe is the building in which I work. What do you mean you thought I meant my penis? What's wrong with you? I asked about that and they said it wasn't on the form.
They did a brilliant job, though I notice they have binned the scrap of Ally's nose that came off when I was last recording with him, that I'd planned to give away as a prize! I am gutted. But how were they meant to know that that was a flake of papier mache off the nose of a 133 year old ventriloquist dummy. Christ knows what they made of any of it. My puppets looked down on them as they cleaned and my headless Taskmaster trophy stood in the upstairs "writing" room. (I put that in inverted commas because I am yet to do much writing in there, not because I am doing anything else. I am writing as I write this).
Now I've got everything in place and stuff is clean it does feel like an incredible space to working from. It's a shame that my daughter will kick me out of here in 5 years so she can live in her own flat.
I tweeted some pictures of the space. I thought people who'd seen Can I Have My Ball Back? might get a kick out of the fact that I've framed the placard that Phoebe made for my 2021 half marathon and put it right above my desk.
No one noticed that. But people were zooming in to the shot to see if they could shame me by seeing a dildo or something like that (there is one here somewhere - it's one of my puppets. Or has become one). Someone questioned why I had so many tissues (come on, this isn't even my "writing" room - my son had brought them in from the car about 30 seconds before I took the photo) and someone else asked me what kind of a person needs 5 coasters on their desk. Jokes on him. There are actually six. And three of them are exclusive Taskmaster ones.
Didn’t you even spot this one? I did.
I would have thought it was weirder to zoom into someone's picture so you can count their coasters (and then miss one). I've got that many coasters cos I put all my coasters on the desk and haven't got round to sorting them out yet. But I might leave them now just to spite him. Also I've got loads of friends and what if five of them turn up all at once and all have a drink.
Anyway everything is in such a good order now that I don't really have any excuse not to get one with some work.
Oh shit.
I did actually have a go at writing an opening chapter of my Goodnight Goodnight Sweetheart Sweetheart idea, but I didn't get too far. But it's more than I've written in months (if you ignore the blog, which I think you should) so maybe paying two women lots of money to clean my dirty annexe was worth it.
The good thing about the framed placard is that the same sentiment can be used for the eviction in 5 years.
Great to see Ally & Herring back on the twitch telly today, getting back to basics, a double-act that never lets us down.
After Channels 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, America surely awaits (though Ally will have to go a bit more further to the extremist conspiracy far-right to be really successful there)