Pants on the Head and Careless Whispers

Warming Up

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We were going round to my brother-in-law, Duncan's house to have a celebratory lunch for my father-in-law's birthday. When I asked the kids to get dressed, Ernest Herring, my son and partial heir and carbon copy of me as a child, decided he was going to wear his swimming trunks all day and that he'd wear his pants on his head.

This is perfectly acceptable behaviour for a six-year-old of course. If I decided I was going to spend a day with my pants on my head... actually people would probably expect that of me, it's not as bad as having a Hitler Moustache for a year. But if any regular adult did it then there would be cause for concern.

He had a hundred reasons as to why he'd decided to wear his swimming trunks - he was ready if his uncle had installed a swimming pool in his house, if Ernie was drinking some water and spilled it all on himself it wouldn't be a problem. But he had no explanation for the pants. In fact for the pants it was very much a case of no explanation required.

Maybe he'll be up at the Fringe next year with his show - My Day With My Pants on my Head, trying to look at why society doesn't let us do that. It's a less childish show than Hitler Moustache to be fair.

Let's face it, like everything his dad does, he was doing it for attention. He doesn't have the staying power of his father though and he got bored of having his pants on his head about three hours in and quietly took the pants off his head.

We should all wear our pants on our heads (not necessarily literally) every now and again though. Conformity is going to win in the long run, but sometimes do the thing you're not supposed to do. Don't do a murder though.

The kids wanted to play Chinese Whispers at lunch. Catie was quite keen for us not to call it that though, saying we should call it the Telephone Game (as they do in America). Though Chinese Whispers certainly sounds like it might very well have racist origins.

I am all for erring on the side of caution, especially in an area that might be dealing with stereotypes and I don't think it's worth digging your heels in and being reactionary, just cos you had a name for something when you were a kid and didn't mean anything by it. But equally, should we change something if it doesn't have the origins that our paranoia is creating for it. Sure, it's possible that the person who invented the name called it that because they felt that it was difficult to understand what Chinese people were saying (something that is true of anyone speaking a foreign language to you, especially if they are whispering), and maybe it's pandering to some idea of Chinese people whispering because they are sneaky or liars or... wait a minute, in an attempt to ascertain whether something is pandering to stereotypes am I not just demonstrating my own prejudice here. Is that a bit of a stretch or is that why the came is called that?

A cursory google didn't really solve things - there was a suggestion that the game was called that as an a

llusion to the difficulty of getting a message across the Chinese Wall. Yeah, sure, that would be tough, if you were whispering. Wikipedia also claims that it might have come from how fascinated the British were by Chinese Culture in the 18th and 19th Century. Which sounds a bit like. "I'm allowed to say it because I've got a Chinese friend."

Wikipedia also says "Yunte Huang, a professor of English at the University of California has said that: "Indicating inaccurately transmitted information, the expression 'Chinese Whispers' carries with it a sense of paranoia caused by espionage, counterespionage, Red Scare, and other war games, real or imaginary, cold or hot."

When it comes down to it, no matter how innocently we used the term in the old days and if the phrase even originated for more benign reasons, then it seems to make sense to change it now. Why risk offending someone for such a pointless reason? Because you don't want the world to change at all now you're old. Grow up grandad. Stop being a dick.

However I found the name Telephone Game insulting as it clearly implied that telephones don't work properly, which might have been the case back in the olden days, but is rarely true of today's efficient phones (except when texting and using predictive text- is that the new name?)

Duncan suggested "Careless Whispers" as a name, which he felt was good as it also came with its own theme song. I thought we might get sued by the estate of George Michael and so I suggested "Uncareful Whispers" which I think might be the best name (or at least a good starting phrase for a game). Or if it was called "Cadbury's Wispas" we could get sponsorship.

I don't think we settled on a new name, though the game did always seem to come up with slightly dodgy solutions. "Careless Whispers is best" through the filter of a couple of tiny kids became "The West is best" which suggests that it wasn't just the name of the game that was racist.

Maybe we should choose the new name of the game by playing a big game of Chinese Whispers, starting with that dodgy old name and seeing what comes out at the end.

Let's face it anyone complaining about Chinese Whispers changing its name is on pretty dodgy ground. This game about the mutability of language must never change it's name. That's sacrosanct. In fact let's change the rules so that everyone clearly states the phrase they've chosen and the next person loudly repeats it. Nothing must change.

More RHLSTP guest news. Joining me in Birmingham on 20th October will be Josh Pugh (plus TBA). Buy your tickets here

Going to make the video FREE to everyone today, so you non-payers can see the incredible and professional production that you’re missing out on.

Part 2