Upstaged
Warming Up
8637/21556
I realise now that Wolfie has entirely stolen focus from my own cancer struggle. Not only are readers of this blog much more upset by her illness than mine, but also now the family is entirely devoted to looking after her and everyone has forgotten that I have incurable cancer too.
Way to steal focus, Professor Wolfenstein. Just like the readers to this blog, Catie is much more attentive to Wolfie than she was to me. Just because the dog can make really sad eyes and then bump into things with her cone.
Are you seriously telling me that this is just a coincidence. She saw the cushy life that I have been leading since having treatment and thought “I’ll have a bit of that.”
And now I am back to just being a regular dad again and even worse expected to do stuff. Just because I feel fine and don’t have a big cone round my neck. Back to the invisibility and drudgery of being a regular dad.
In all seriousness (and because I know you care more about her than me) Wolfie is getting better every day, even making an attempt to bark and go to the door when the doorbell rings. And she’s wagging her tail a bit too.
It was another day of Olympic sport in the garden and plane flights in the park, but just to increase chances of winning a medal I took Ernie to a try-out for Taekwondo this evening. I wasn’t sure if he’d have the discipline required due to his ridiculous propensity to showing off and trying to get laughs. When he took his shoes off he decided he wanted to juggle them, which wasn’t a great start. But he settled down and seemed to get into it. One of the teachers showed him and another new boy some of the moves and he had a good, slightly wobbly go at it all.
Typically he did end up in a silly discussion with the black-belt man, when asking if the hamstring is the part of the pig that you get ham from. Taekwondo does not teach you how to defend yourself against the ridiculous mind of an 8-year-old and Ernie bamboozled his opponent to defeat.
Ernie is keen to continue with the sport, though he’s also trying karate next week. Meaning I have survived cancer only to become a full time taxi driver for my own kids. At least Ernie should be able to protect me if I get in a fight. If only by confusing the assailant.
Newsround is BACK. Briefly. I will try and do a few next week, but am then away from the studio until the end of August. But after that I will cancel all other work and devote myself to a 24 hour rolling news service.
RHLSTP Book Club with Paul Tonkinson now up.
It’s a great book about running, but mainly about being a man and getting older and keeping things in perspective. Buy it here.
Yay, Wolfie! Glad she's recovering! And you too, I suppose...
Rich, just an idea, but what if you went “for a walk” with Catie, and I jump out disguised a fat northern ginger bloke and shout give me your Rolexes and Cartier jewellery etc. you then you “fend me off” in a chivalrous manner thus gaining eternal respect and lust from Catie.
The only issue i can see is I’ve been on the telly loads and she might recognise me cos I’ve been on the telly loads as I said, so my appearances on telly which is a lot might scupper the plot. Channels like bbc1 bbc2 and bbc4 and Channel 4 have all been blessed with my acting skills, it could even be that Catie is a big fan of mine and therefore also scupper our brilliant plan. Can you subtly ask Catie about my hilarious tv roles and see if she knows me.
If not then great, your brilliant plan is a go.