8160/21080
As you have probably picked up I am loving my return to stand up - when you've got a show up and running it's just the most enjoyable thing and as long as you're striving to make it better every day then it doesn't get boring. But it's sad when being on the road means you miss out on big moments at home.
I've been pretty careful to avoid putting gigs in on birthdays and school holidays (though I had no choice but to do Liverpool on what Rik Mayall called Crap Thursday - the day before Good Friday [when he had his quad bike accident]). I hadn't thought to look up when Mother's Day would be and it was too late to change anything once I'd realised I'd be in Edinburgh and Leeds that day. Perhaps I should have insisted that Bollings drove me home after the Saturday gig and then drove me back to Leeds on Sunday afternoon.
Anyway I could only enjoy the day through photos and I have to say Phoebe really stepped up, making Catie lots of cards and presents and biscuits and a breakfast with a heart-shaped egg in the middle. The kids also through homemade confetti over their mum to wake her up. It's the kind of thing that almost makes 10 years of exhaustion and worry worthwhile. It's going to be embarrassing if Phoebe doesn't go to the same kind of effort for Father's Day.
I love this beautiful pic of our cats Chocolate and Tabby (I presume the H on their collar stands for Herring) and a surprised Catie in the middle. Phoebe did an amazing job in my absence and Ernie did a great job of being Ernie. Their hearts can still tug on mine even when the invisible wires that connect us are stretched to 366 miles.
Bitter sweet for me of course, but I had to carry on with my showbiz life of being driven to another city and then lying on a hotel bed playing online poker. I cajoled Right Bollock into writing a bit of his autobiography, which is one of the more generous and time consuming rewards for the Ball Back kickstarter. It might all be for nothing because all these rewards will only be sent out if the kickstarter hits its target. We're just over halfway to the target, whilst slightly under halfway through the allotted time. But we still need probably 250 more people to get on board.
Currently only 158 Ball Back DVDs will be made. It's probably going to be a run of about 300 (if we hit the target) but unlikely to be more than 500. As always kickstarter stuff likely to increase in value - it's a wise investment! Back us here.
To whet your appetite here's RB's opening paragraph
"Cain and Abel. Romulus and Remus. Liam and Noel. Reggie and Ronnie Kray. Barry and Paul Chuckle. The world is full of competing brothers, fighting for space and recognition. So it was from the start with my twin, Left Bollock and I. I, Right Bollock."
Along with today's backstage video, I'll also put the rest of the short bit of the autobiography that has been written behind the paywall so you kind paid subs can see how it is progressing. Right Bollock wants to point out that this is very much a first draft.
Leeds City Varieties is the best theatrical space for comedy and always a great crowd and despite having done the show here last year, I got over 260 people in on a Sunday night which I am very please with. And I ad-libbed at least three good jokes (but will I remember them in a fortnight at the next gig? I don't think I can remember them all now). It's great to keep digging myself into new holes and sometimes finding gold in them. Even when I don't it's fun to dig myself back out again.
Never Before Seen photo! I assume this was taken before, but I am not sure. What happened? If you know, you know.
The venue will forever be associated for me with the weird Ricky Wilson RHLSTP that we recorded there, but never put out. You had to be there. If you were then you were both lucky and terribly unlucky. But it maybe helped to bond the people of Leeds and I ever closer, as we suffered the trauma together. That may be a story for paid subs another time, if enough of you jump on board.
As a Substack user I do appreciate the difficulty of asking for contributions in return for content. Like you, I am guessing, I resent it when someone puts up half an entry and then you have to pay to see the rest. I understand why people do it, but I am not sure it works as a policy. I think it's better to put up stuff and hope people like it enough to think that maybe they will jump on board. Not sure that works either to be honest. But I am always going to put up blogs in full for free and then just offer the occasional extra bit as a thank you to those people kind enough and wealthy enough to contribute. I hope that doesn't make those who can't or won't pay feel resentful and that I get the balance right. My dream for this site is that enough people pay to subscribe for me to write loads more original content for you, but at the moment it's quite some way away from that! Even so I am very happy to be bugging you with this much material, you pricks.