Only 47 Miles From Luton (and I'm in Luton)

Warming Up

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The builders who worked on our new house returned this week to finish off any snags from all their work. I also managed to persuade them to put the feet on my sofa (they just drilled in some holes for me) and fix the dishwasher. The water wasn't going into the machine and when I turned the switch that I presume did the job it started leaking. None of this was the builders' fault so it was nice of them to help the hopeless.

I have missed having a dishwasher and the one that came with this house is really good. It has a light on the floor that tells you how long you have left, but unlike the dishwasher in the old house is big enough to accommodate dinner plates and pint glasses. It was literally worth the expense and inconvenience of moving to have this dishwasher. You might say, couldn't you have just bought a new dishwasher but I'd say, "Oh I hadn't thought of that."

I was up at the old house today. I had thought I had a doctor's appointment at 10 and so had booked in a personal training session at 11 and then a roofer (not just any roofer - the wonderful Mr Broofing) was going to come and help me sort out a couple of leaks in the afternoon.

At the doctors neither the man before me or I were able to check in on the machine in the waiting room. It turned out that he'd managed it but it hadn't registered, so I assumed the same was true for me. But in fact I was 24 hours early for my appointment. Given I'd organised the rest of the day around this, this was a little bit embarrassing. “I’m glad it’s the patient’s fault for once” said the receptionist.

I did my training, which was a bit tough as I am still under the weather, but I was glad I'd done it and then I loaded up the car with some more stuff, before going for lunch in our local cafe. It's taken moving out of the village for me to ever have lunch there.

The village and the cafe are popular stops for cyclists and if you drive the country roads here you are forever being held up by little clumps of middle-aged men on bicycles wearing lycra. Five or six of them were having lunch in the cafe and I was quite impressed that even on their break from cycling around they talked about nothing else but other cycle rides. I wondered if they'd once been cool and if so what their younger selves would think of how things turned out for them. But they were as happy as any cult member you've ever seen and I envied them their hobby and their camaraderie and lack of embarrassment about being so into cycling. One of them told the cafe owner that they would cover 47 miles today, "Not bad" he said of his own achievement. But they were travelling from Luton, back to Luton so could have achieved the same result by staying at home.

There were so many positives about what they were doing - it's just great for men in their (I assume) fifties and sixties are out and about, keeping fit and having friends and thus looking after their mental health. But it might have been even better if they also talked about other things than cycling. Even Bob and Paul don't just talk about fishing.

There are negatives though. Like clumping around and getting in the way and causing the occasional accident or at least bit of road rage.

I am thinking of buying a half decent bike, just to get around town and back up to the village more easily and get some exercise (though Catie worries, not unreasonably, that I will kill myself). So maybe I will get sucked into this dead-eyed cult of lycra nerds too. Not that I can dare to put on lycra at my present level of fitness.

No chance. I am way too cool. I'll just sit in my office on my own and play with puppets (hopefully back in November, sorry it's been so long).

It was nice to see Mr Broofing again. He did our roof when we moved in and has done a couple of jobs since and once even sponsored the snooker (which I am sure brought in a huge amount of work). He's a good guy and we get on. We have different lives and interests I am sure - he likes going up on roofs and I do not (we had a laugh about my previous escapade) as I tried to climb a ladder up through a skylight and nearly fell off.

The people who did most of the work on that house turned out to be worse than incompetent and almost killed the entire family by setting up the boiler wrong (twice), but Mike (sorry Mr Broofing) has always done good work for us. His son was involved in an horrific accident a few years ago, but thankfully has made a full recovery, but we chatted about being dads and the trials and tribulations that that involves. Hopefully I will never go through anything as harrowing as that.

Always good to see him and we don't need to go cycling to have a good chat. And we didn't just talk about roofs either.

Anyway, he's a good recommend if you're in the area, but he's very booked up after all the rain and storms and having to put right all the fucked up jobs that cowboy builders have done.

I got home and lots more of the work on the house was done. TVs were up on walls and towel rails and shower shelves were in position. We're still some way from getting everything organised, but it's really feeling like home already. And it's amazing how happy having a working dishwasher is making me.

Maybe I should form a club with other men who like dishwashers where we go round each others houses and run the dishwasher, whilst talking about memorable times we've used a dishwasher.

Anyone in?

RHLSTP with Al Murray, who I forced to come back to the town he'd been to school in, is now up here.

Here's a clip

Guests for next week's RHLSTP on 22nd October at the Leicester Sq Theatre are Ivo Graham and Chelsea Birkby. Come along if you can.

And don't forget about Birmingham on Sunday either.

Still a bit too snotty and croaky to do the video read. Hopefully tomorrow.