7 Comments

This reminded me of a time I skyved off: I was about 9 or 10. I cant remember why, but on this particular day I was adamant I wasn't going in to school, and I did some of the best acting you'd ever have seen to ensure I'd remain at home in bed. I came to regret my performance as it lead to my first finger-up-the-arse exam from a Doctor. As I walked back home with my Dad (me limping, violated) he looked at me with a sidways smile that said 'That'll fuckin' learn ya'. I may write about it in more depth once I've finished going through it in therapy. Maybe 'depth' is the wrong word.

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This was such a great show! The Count Binface interview was fantastic - not sure what we were expecting, but this was really funny. Every now and then during the interview you seemed to realise the ridiculousness of the situation and break-up. Then the James Acaster interview was brilliant - definitely worth seeing live!

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It's not an irrational fear. The first cup of tea I made as a child, I tipped a boiling kettle over my hand and was horribly injured. I make tea now as an act of incredible bravery.

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author

I don’t think anything like that happened to me. I was more scared of being made to drink it than make it. I just wanted to be a kid forever. Sadly got my wish

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Does Count Binface get put outside the house every week by his/her partner waiting for the bin men to ‘empty’ him? Will we find this out on this Rhlstp (Rhlstp!)? I hope so

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founding

Wow, finally someone who understands my terror of making hot drinks for other people! I worked as a care assistant for many years and no other aspect of the job phased me, but being told to take the tea trolley round always struck fear in my heart. It is exactly what you say about everyone liking it differently, especially when multiple cups were supposed to be made up at once, and I don’t like black tea so have no idea what strength/proportions even an average cup should be. Meanwhile, I am so incredibly precise about how I have my own hot drinks that I don’t like others to do it for me: every time I make myself a coffee I have to analyse the quantity of grounds on the teaspoon to judge if the strength will be correct relative to the size of mug/sweetness of the cake I’ll be consuming it with, and only pour the boiling water to about 2/3rds full and top up with cold (if black; if white then 4/5ths hot, to compensate for the chilled milk it’s topped up with) so that it’s the perfect temperature to drink right away. And if the water in the kettle was boiled an indeterminate time ago I use a thermometer to check the temperature to ensure correct hot/cold balance for my herbal teas: 40 degrees for swigging, 50 for comfortably steady, 60 for sipping in winter (autistic? Who, me?). That said, I’m happy to swig herbal tea/coffee that has been left to go cold, to the point I get cross if ones I’ve left to finish later are thrown away …

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Feel bad about wittering on about being to sick to make the show now. Not bad enough to stop, but still.

To this day, if I make someone tea or coffee I preface the act by saying 'I am shit at making tea/coffee' so they already know to be disappointed in me and I don't have to see it dawning in their eyes when they take their first sip.

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